Seating On The Throne- 2015 April Newletter

Revelation 21:5

" He who was seated on the throne said, " I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.""

God is a God who constantly does new things in each of our lives, whether you have a relationship with him or not, one thing that we would always need to admit is that Change is the nature of life.

In the past few months, while life getting into a regular pattern here in Taipei, I had to spend a lot of time by myself and rest with myself because I am losing a bit the connection with the majority of the society here.

My self-righteousness and pride of thinking I am different than other people because my citizenship is in heaven and fear of having deep connections with people have preventing me to step outside of my comfort zone. In a way, I wanted to keep on grasping my Misfit life-style which I have clinged onto while living as a foreigners in past five years, I didn't want to let go, because let go means I have to change in a supernatural way, to become the one God intended for me to be.

While loving to categorize myself in the MisFit group of the society, sometimes, I have

the fear of monotonous salaryman life-style has gradually rooted in my heart. I refused to be localized. I shut all the access and feelings towards the outside environment and lock myself in worship music and think that is the place where I could meet God.

However, lately, I could no longer hear him or sense him the way I did before anymore.

Fear creeped into my heart and thought if I have done anything wrong that he has had decided to not listen to me anymore.

The vulnerable and helpless feelings have occupied my heart, and I know I needed help.

Just as one day walking on the path to work, the sky was pretty gray and gloomy. I saw a bird in my way, as I walked close by, it started flapping its wings and flying really fast, and I saw a lump of fire on its butt as it was flying. I could not believe what I have seened and looked around and noticed no one has noticed what just happened in the middle of a busy crossroad.

From then on, I truly believe heaven exists, and the things that belong to heaven and in store in heaven must really not look like how it is on the current earth.

As one day i could no longer stand the loneliness and isolation situation I have made myself into, I cried out to him.

The revelation of God doesnt always come from super-power-over-flowing-joy.

In our brokenness and deepest despair, we can sense him and desperate for him from the deepest places of our souls the most.

I complained to God saying, in the morning when I wake up, I start talking to you, during lunch break, I still eat by myself while talking to you (read bible), after work, on the way home, I am still talking to you. Could you please send me a friend or someone?? You know? I really need A FRIEND (when I mean a friend you know i dont mean whoever, but the ones that God would put in my life).

Luckily, our God is compassionate and rich in mercy, he forgives me when I complained and he listens to it, he is not like particular asian parents whom will ask the kids to shut up and saying they are not grateful enough for what they have. In fact, even before I cried out to him, he knew that I was going to, but he still let it happen so i could really sense and understand how much I need him in my life, I cannot always get what I want on my own might or strength. Through my crying out to him, I could rely on him more, and my relationship with God become even more real.

I love that, I love how the revelation with the Lord comes from the broken feelings we have, because he will be able to come in and heal and comfort us, and our worship to him become even more real, knowing we are all fallen and broken, cannot produce salvation through our own strengths, this is the beauty of his plan & design.

Right after that, I met 3 Indonesian christians on my way home, they are studying applied English in master degree in Ocean University here in Keelung. They introduced me a gospel pillar from Nigeria who has very similar amount of joy and passion as I do.

God is gracious, he answers the prayers from our deepest desire in our souls, and himself gives us all the desires too.

The next morning, I heard an audible voice calling my Chinese name Shuting right after I opened my eyes in the morning. Hearing God audibly doesnt amaze me or surprise me since his presence in my life is so real and profound in many different ways. However, what stood out to me was, it just sounds like my dad calling my name. Because i dont live with my parents so I know there is no way it was my dad calling me from the air.

God was reminding me how much my dad has loved me, even though in real life he always calls me dumb and look down on me all the time.

Several weeks back, as I was in a christian bookstore trying to get the gifts for other people, I spotted a book randomly on the bookshelf, and it was written by Mike Connell about releasing freedom.

It talked a lot about spiritual warfare and how evil spirits could easily enter our lives even to take control if we don't carefully guard our hearts the way how God wants us to: for example, unforgiving heart, bitterness, anger are the easiest way how enemy can consume us and whisper lies to our ears to even to sin-death.

It was really eye-opening, since recently I have experience bullying at work environment and being isolated and attacked by many people's hiden or public insults and correction. I felt really frustrated and hurt by this experience, and I found myself judging them and not loving them in my heart.

Right after reading that book, I understand how enemy can easily enter our lives through our unforgiveness to other people. As a result, I prayed a prayer to forgive each colleauge in the office, and ask God to bless them. When I was praying that, I sense a dark shadow(spirit) was on my right side while I closed my eyes, when I opened my eyes, it disappeared.

Being a Christian for 3 to 4 years, I never paid much attention to the things in spiritual realm. Such as our body is a container of spirit & soul. The enemy can use evil spirit to attack us, but they cannot overtake our souls, that's why demons can be casted out, because at the end they can't fully occupy us, they can be cast out.

I believe God didn't put this christian author in my life by chance, cuz just the other day, when I turned on TV, I saw he was talking about the bapitism of holy spirit and the importance of speaking in tongue.

His books have deeply encouraged me a lot as a warrior & soilder of God. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. We need to know the qualities and nature of the enemies that we are fighting for so we can fight a good fight through holy spirit breaking the chains, rather than our flesh and will.

Because the fruit of flesh and will is death.

Deeply recommand Mike Connell's book called Cast Out Demons, and you can find his ministry here: http://mikeconnellministries.com/.

Another highly recommand biblical preacher on holy spirit and anointment is Glenn Bleakney http://www.awakenations.org/.

You can find a lot of useful resources from their online ministries.

If you feel stuck at where you are in faith or feeling like God is trying to make a new way out while cutting all your old habits and belief pattern, please dont be scared and overwhelmed by his plan.

He is going to do what he is going to do in your life, there is no delay in his timing. All we need to do is to acknowledge that HE IS GOD, not US, his timing and the beauty of his plan doesnt work the way how we want, that was what he told Job on Job 38-40.

My favorite verse: 5Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. 6In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

It is true, TRUST IN HIM, because he is the beginner and completer of your salvation, and he who begins in the good work in you will continue until the perfection, so do not be afraid of change!

No matter if it requires the change of your mind, the way you think, your habit or the outward environment, please just trust him, because without faith, it is impossible to please God!

Just like God has recently taught me to concerntrate and be quite and gain the strengths through learning adobe illustrator and soak me into 100% Taiwanese group to learn his humility. For the more I desire to learn, the more i see i am nothing, the more I am aware of that i am NOTHING, but he is everything, the provider of intelligence & memory I need to acquire the skills I need.

He is also teaching me to do not be afraid of negotiating and talking with my parents with discussion, it doesnt always need to be 100% obedience to show that I love them.

I also noticed I have a tendency of escaping people and nasty situations, such as spending time with my parents, but remember, God is love but not sugar ( quote from Phil Tanaka), we need to struggle and endure to grow into the person he intends us to be(Romans 5).

It is okay to cry and it is okay to fall & fail. In your failure, he can use it for his glory.

In your struggle and question, he will bring you answer and the revelation.

All we need to do is trust and keep on seeking & worshipping him.